Real Talk: Communication is the key to keeping your relationship a relationship. Pt2

In this second part of Communication is the key to keeping your relationship a relationship, what I’m sharing isn’t rocket science. It’s really quite easy and believe me…if you practice nothing else, these are MUSTS to having a mature relationship. Truthfully, they can also be among the hardest to do.

Society Doesn’t Matter

Do not let people judge your life and your decisions. Do not fall prey to their traps and their wishes. You have your own life to live and your own problems to deal with. No one knows what you’re going through and they don’t need to know. Be happy with who you are and be happy with the person you’re with, without asking for any acceptance from anyone else. No one will truly understand the ups or downs of your relationship other than the two of you. The two of you matter and how you handle things with each other matters. No one is walking in your shoes but you.

I Forgive You

Let go of the negativity. Forgiveness is one of the most precious gifts you can give to someone. If they made a mistake and promise to not make it again, forgive them. You won’t be stupid for forgiving them, you’ll only be the bigger person. But NEVER say it if you don’t mean it, only say it if you can truly forgive them with all of your heart. Also, and this is the hard part, are you listening… FORGIVE YOURSELF! No one is perfect and we all have moments when we do things that we perhaps shouldn’t have done. Self-forgiveness is simply saying that you could have handled things differently, but things happen. Stop beating yourself up over it. Forgive yourself, don’t keep it bottled up and don’t do it again. OK?!

I Love Myself

Love who you are, not what youcan be or wantto be. There is nothing more than a newly engaged woman’s first words that really anger me. What are they.. “I needto loose weight to fit into my wedding dress.” ARGH!! Look, the person who just proposed knows what you look like. They proposed right, so they must love you Just The Way You Are. WHY do you now feel that you have to change your look? Just because some bridal magazine says so? Because society says that you won’t be beautiful if you’re not ‘thin’? If you are losing weight for better health fine, but not for a wedding. LOVE Yourself. The person you are right now is exactly the person you should love and respect. It’s not possible to love someone when you don’t love and respect yourself enough.

I Respect You

Respect is a two-way street; you need to give it to earn it. Always tell your partner you respect them, that’s why you love them and that’s why you’re with them. You love and respect them for who they are and the decisions they make and the personality they carry. Now, do something scary…ask your partner the question. Do you respect me? Remember just because you are in a relationship, doesn’t mean that you are being respected in that relationship. This means they are being truthful, there isn’t anything ‘hidden’, you feel like you can tell them anything and you won’t be judged. So ask. It’s scary and they might look at you like you’re nuts, but there is nothing like looking into their eyes when they say yes and, you feel it in your heart.

I Like You

Are you friends? I often tell people I love my parents, because they are – well, my parents. BUT, I really like them. They are funny, a great team together, have each other’s back and hold hands. I adore them. I remember the first time I asked my BF if he liked me. He questioned why I would ask such a thing and then said “Of course, I like you.” I simply explained that loving him was easy but I wanted to make sure that during what ever possible future difficult times (which would surely come) that he liked me as a person, had my back and would always hold my hand.

I LOVE You

Last but definitely not the least, tell them you love them. These three little words have the power to turn a frown into a smile. Even if they know it already, doesn’t matter. Reassure them everyday, not because you fall in love with them everyday, but because you ARE in love with them! Also, I think I have a problem with the notion of “falling in love”. As one who has ‘fallen’ before, I know the devastating heartache, when you fall, hit rock bottom. IT sucks!! What I have learned and continue to learn is that love grows…love blossoms…love blooms…love shines. So don’t fall, don’t even trip, but plant the seed and watch it grow. Rise in love.

 

Hopefully these will help your relationship. I promise you in Real Talk, I won’t write anything that I’m not practicing myself. If you have any suggestions and/or questions for us, about anything relationship related, let us know. We’re gonna keep it really real.

Until Next time.

 

 

Real Talk: Communication is the key to keeping your relationship a relationship. Pt1

Welcome to a New Year…and a new series. Real Talk, will hopefully address real issues in relationships. Love, friendship, marriage, divorce, infidelity, passion…you name it. Seems perfect that in the beginning of a new year, we discuss something that we can ALL work on…better communication. Are you ready??

Flowers and hearts are always in the beginning of any new relationship. It’s warm and cozy. It’s romantic. It’s stolen kisses. It’s magic (especially if your last relationship left things to be desired) and you love the feeling. Yes…I remember those days. Then life happens… Perhaps there are disagreements, misuse of trust, lies; deception or you simply stop communicating. Look, it happens, but it doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship.

Talking is the only way to make things better. That means communication between the two of you. Now, I know talking to your friends will be the first thought, but let’s face it…your friends may be bias. They are going to say things that may not always be in your best interest or the best interest of the relationship. Not everyone is your friend, or in your corner, no matter what they say. So the best way to get to the bottom of what ever isn’t working in your relationship…and get it back on track is to both speak and listen to your partner.

Is Something Bothering You

There’s nothing more depressing than keeping quiet about your feelings. It hurts when you have to keep things to yourself that you actually need to let out. It’s one of the healthiest things to have a good level of communication with your partner, the back and forth of feelings into words is just beautiful and it helps both of you stay happy.

I’ve seen a lot of couples break apart due to a huge lack of communication. Asking if something isn’t quite right with your partner doesn’t take much effort and it makes them feel like you’re there for them and they can talk to you when they’re going through a rough patch. It doesn’t take much to ask them if you see a change in their moods, if you feel like they’re not quite the same with you, if you feel a difference in the way they talk to you, it all probably means they’re sad or hurt about something and you can make it that much easier on them by letting them know you’re there for them.

I Need You

The happiest couples are those who acknowledge each others importance and how lost they are without each other. “I need you” are three very simple yet very powerful words that can grow the love between the two of you by ten fold. You are in love with them, there’s a reason you chose to be with them, there is absolutely no shame in admitting how much you need them in your life, in your ups and downs, in your accomplishments, in your successes and your failures, you need them in everything.

Can I Help In Any Way & I Believe In You

Nothing makes your partner more proud of having you than knowing that you’re always there to help them out when they need it. My BF has a crazy job and sometimes has to work the night shift. I know it can be tough on him, and it’s no big deal for me to set my clock at 3:00am to send him a smile text or even call him just to say hi. To let him know…he’s not alone. I think he appreciates it. He also has a very active community service life and there are days…WHEW!!! We have a deal and lately he’s taken me up on it. If he calls and says “I just need to vent for a moment”, I say ok…and shut up! I just let him get it all off his chest and if he doesn’t want my opinion, I don’t offer it. By doing this, again, I’m showing my support of him and what he’s doing (& yes, he does the same for me). At the end of the day, he knows I have his back, am his cheerleader and he doesn’t have to do it alone. So ASK!!! They may say no I don’t need help 99 times, but when they ask time 100 be there! Show you care.

I Trust You

We’ve all been lied to, made to feel as if our guy-feeling was “in your mind” (when clearly it wasn’t) and left feeling as if the wind was knocked out of you. Trust is rare and one of the most precious things you must have in your healthy, grown-up relationship. When it’s gone…it’s gone. If you’re lucky to be in a relationship where that’s not an issue, still tell your partner that you trust them. It doesn’t matter if they know it already. Reassuring words are very healthy and help create a happy relationship. It can also possibly thwart any possible reason for that trust to be broken.

How are you doing so far?? There is so much more to share. Come back next week for part 2. Until then, take some time with your partner and talk to them. Really talk to them from the heart. Be an active listener. Hear what they have to say.

What no mail on Saturdays?

The US Postal Service has just announced that starting August 5, 2013, it will stop delivering letters and other mail on Saturdays, but continue to handle packages, a move the financially struggling agency said would save them about $2 billion annually as it looks for ways to cut cost.

The news comes as the agency continues to lose money, mainly due to a 2006 law which requires it to pay about $5.5 billion a year into a future retiree health benefit fund. Last year, for the first time, the agency defaulted on two payments after it had reached its borrowing limit from the Treasury Department. The Postal Service also continues to see a decline in mail volume as more people shift to electronic forms of communication like e-mail and online bill paying services. Packaging is one of the few areas where the agency is seeing growth.

While many business and postal unions have generally opposed ending Saturday delivery, most Americans support the move. Material prepared for the announcement by Patrick R. Donahoe, postmaster general and CEO, says Postal Service market research and other research has indicated that nearly 7 in 10 Americans support the switch to five-day delivery as a way for the Postal Service to reduce costs. It also reported that the post office continued losses of up to $36 million a day and is headed for projected losses of about $21 billion a year by 2016.

How will this impact you as a couple as you mail your wedding invitations? Keep in mind that with the recent price increase in postage, it will cost you more to mail your invitations especially if they are heavier than one-ounce which we all know they are.  You should give yourself extra time to make sure that your wedding invitations reach your guests.

This change should not be a reason to begin emailing your wedding invitations.  Let’s keep something’s traditional and remember, not all grandparents have email and want to keep the invitation from your special day.

DROID RAZR MAXX by Mororola is red carpet ready for the Oscars

Oscar "Red-Carpet" ready

Adding another layer of glitz and glamour to Hollywood’s biggest night, Motorola has created a special edition “Red Carpet” DROID RAZR MAXX. Going to select nominees and presenters at this year’s event, DROID RAZR MAXX has twice the battery life of other smartphones – that means up to 21 hours of talk time and that isn’t even the best reason for wanting this phone.

This super-sleek phone has a vibrant 4.3-inch display, so it will look every bit as good as the stars do walking the red carpet. And with the 8-megapixel camera and HD video recording, Hollywood’s elite can turn the camera back on the paparazzi as well as capture all the red carpet action from their perspective, chat with the press, check in at home, surf the Web from their seats or Tweet to their adoring fans – all at lightning-fast speeds.

Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress nominees will receive the phone within a glamorous, gold sequined pouch, just big enough to keep the evening’s essentials (extra lip-gloss, tissues etc). Nominees for Best Supporting Actor, Best Actor and Best Director are given a high-end shaving kit, so they can keep their faces as smooth, beautiful and chiseled-looking as ever. Of course you don’t want to have a phone glued to their ear so they also have been outfitted with a Motorola ELITE SLIVER Bluetooth® headset small enough to conceal – and stylist-approved.

So, this Sunday, nominees with a DROID RAZR MAXX will have what they need to get through the big day – from the minute they wake up until the after-party champagne runs dry. You can have one too. Five lucky fans have the chance to win their own device online by retweeting “@Motorola to win Red Carpet RAZR Rules: http://moto.ly/rls3 #RedCarpetRAZR”

What are you waiting for??