In this second part of Communication is the key to keeping your relationship a relationship, what I’m sharing isn’t rocket science. It’s really quite easy and believe me…if you practice nothing else, these are MUSTS to having a mature relationship. Truthfully, they can also be among the hardest to do.
Society Doesn’t Matter
Do not let people judge your life and your decisions. Do not fall prey to their traps and their wishes. You have your own life to live and your own problems to deal with. No one knows what you’re going through and they don’t need to know. Be happy with who you are and be happy with the person you’re with, without asking for any acceptance from anyone else. No one will truly understand the ups or downs of your relationship other than the two of you. The two of you matter and how you handle things with each other matters. No one is walking in your shoes but you.
I Forgive You
Let go of the negativity. Forgiveness is one of the most precious gifts you can give to someone. If they made a mistake and promise to not make it again, forgive them. You won’t be stupid for forgiving them, you’ll only be the bigger person. But NEVER say it if you don’t mean it, only say it if you can truly forgive them with all of your heart. Also, and this is the hard part, are you listening… FORGIVE YOURSELF! No one is perfect and we all have moments when we do things that we perhaps shouldn’t have done. Self-forgiveness is simply saying that you could have handled things differently, but things happen. Stop beating yourself up over it. Forgive yourself, don’t keep it bottled up and don’t do it again. OK?!
I Love Myself
Love who you are, not what youcan be or wantto be. There is nothing more than a newly engaged woman’s first words that really anger me. What are they.. “I needto loose weight to fit into my wedding dress.” ARGH!! Look, the person who just proposed knows what you look like. They proposed right, so they must love you Just The Way You Are. WHY do you now feel that you have to change your look? Just because some bridal magazine says so? Because society says that you won’t be beautiful if you’re not ‘thin’? If you are losing weight for better health fine, but not for a wedding. LOVE Yourself. The person you are right now is exactly the person you should love and respect. It’s not possible to love someone when you don’t love and respect yourself enough.
I Respect You
Respect is a two-way street; you need to give it to earn it. Always tell your partner you respect them, that’s why you love them and that’s why you’re with them. You love and respect them for who they are and the decisions they make and the personality they carry. Now, do something scary…ask your partner the question. Do you respect me? Remember just because you are in a relationship, doesn’t mean that you are being respected in that relationship. This means they are being truthful, there isn’t anything ‘hidden’, you feel like you can tell them anything and you won’t be judged. So ask. It’s scary and they might look at you like you’re nuts, but there is nothing like looking into their eyes when they say yes and, you feel it in your heart.
I Like You
Are you friends? I often tell people I love my parents, because they are – well, my parents. BUT, I really like them. They are funny, a great team together, have each other’s back and hold hands. I adore them. I remember the first time I asked my BF if he liked me. He questioned why I would ask such a thing and then said “Of course, I like you.” I simply explained that loving him was easy but I wanted to make sure that during what ever possible future difficult times (which would surely come) that he liked me as a person, had my back and would always hold my hand.
I LOVE You
Last but definitely not the least, tell them you love them. These three little words have the power to turn a frown into a smile. Even if they know it already, doesn’t matter. Reassure them everyday, not because you fall in love with them everyday, but because you ARE in love with them! Also, I think I have a problem with the notion of “falling in love”. As one who has ‘fallen’ before, I know the devastating heartache, when you fall, hit rock bottom. IT sucks!! What I have learned and continue to learn is that love grows…love blossoms…love blooms…love shines. So don’t fall, don’t even trip, but plant the seed and watch it grow. Rise in love.
Hopefully these will help your relationship. I promise you in Real Talk, I won’t write anything that I’m not practicing myself. If you have any suggestions and/or questions for us, about anything relationship related, let us know. We’re gonna keep it really real.
Until Next time.