So you are at that point when you are looking deeply into the eyes of your partner and repeating your vows to each other. Sometimes, its vows you’ve written, other times, they are the more traditional vows. Today’s question…Do you really understand what they mean? There isn’t any reason I choose this one to begin the question but since I did, let’s go.
Few people consider sickness and suffering when picking a mate. You might consider how the other person might look in the morning or what bad habits they might have. What your children will look, where you will live and what kind of great life you’ll have. But let me ask, how many of you have thought “If my partner gets ill, will I be there?” “Can I suffer with this person for the rest of our lives (you know that ‘till death do you part’).
It sounds like the beginning of another marriage joke, but it’s no laughing matter. It’s a real question and frankly one you should honestly talk about while you’re dating. Let’s keep it real…not everyone is made for the bad times. Getting sick and suffering is a part of life and as you get older, it happens more. It’s a part of life.
Suffering comes in lots of forms: physical illness, mental illness, taking care of elderly parents, children get sick. The truth is that very, very few people suffer well. Sadness comes in all forms, but be assured that it will touch your relationship. None of us are immune. You will have good days, and bad days – can your partner handle it?
Who do you want holding your hand when the test says “cancer?” When your world turns upside down, in whose eyes do you want to look? Who will take turns staying up with your sick child? Who will be with you when an aging parent needs extra care?
These aren’t the questions that many will take the time to ask or even think of…but you should. No one wants to think of sad times when life is ‘prefect’ but THIS IS THE TIME.
Yet when life falls apart, you want someone you can run to, not someone you want to run from. You want someone who believes in you and helps restore your faith not causes more doubt. You want someone who hopes no matter what the circumstances are.
Life is hard enough; there is no need to make it harder. When choosing your life partner, choose wisely and no matter what happens, they won’t let go of your hand. You are a TEAM!