Real Talk: Communication is the key to keeping your relationship a relationship. Pt1

Welcome to a New Year…and a new series. Real Talk, will hopefully address real issues in relationships. Love, friendship, marriage, divorce, infidelity, passion…you name it. Seems perfect that in the beginning of a new year, we discuss something that we can ALL work on…better communication. Are you ready??

Flowers and hearts are always in the beginning of any new relationship. It’s warm and cozy. It’s romantic. It’s stolen kisses. It’s magic (especially if your last relationship left things to be desired) and you love the feeling. Yes…I remember those days. Then life happens… Perhaps there are disagreements, misuse of trust, lies; deception or you simply stop communicating. Look, it happens, but it doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship.

Talking is the only way to make things better. That means communication between the two of you. Now, I know talking to your friends will be the first thought, but let’s face it…your friends may be bias. They are going to say things that may not always be in your best interest or the best interest of the relationship. Not everyone is your friend, or in your corner, no matter what they say. So the best way to get to the bottom of what ever isn’t working in your relationship…and get it back on track is to both speak and listen to your partner.

Is Something Bothering You

There’s nothing more depressing than keeping quiet about your feelings. It hurts when you have to keep things to yourself that you actually need to let out. It’s one of the healthiest things to have a good level of communication with your partner, the back and forth of feelings into words is just beautiful and it helps both of you stay happy.

I’ve seen a lot of couples break apart due to a huge lack of communication. Asking if something isn’t quite right with your partner doesn’t take much effort and it makes them feel like you’re there for them and they can talk to you when they’re going through a rough patch. It doesn’t take much to ask them if you see a change in their moods, if you feel like they’re not quite the same with you, if you feel a difference in the way they talk to you, it all probably means they’re sad or hurt about something and you can make it that much easier on them by letting them know you’re there for them.

I Need You

The happiest couples are those who acknowledge each others importance and how lost they are without each other. “I need you” are three very simple yet very powerful words that can grow the love between the two of you by ten fold. You are in love with them, there’s a reason you chose to be with them, there is absolutely no shame in admitting how much you need them in your life, in your ups and downs, in your accomplishments, in your successes and your failures, you need them in everything.

Can I Help In Any Way & I Believe In You

Nothing makes your partner more proud of having you than knowing that you’re always there to help them out when they need it. My BF has a crazy job and sometimes has to work the night shift. I know it can be tough on him, and it’s no big deal for me to set my clock at 3:00am to send him a smile text or even call him just to say hi. To let him know…he’s not alone. I think he appreciates it. He also has a very active community service life and there are days…WHEW!!! We have a deal and lately he’s taken me up on it. If he calls and says “I just need to vent for a moment”, I say ok…and shut up! I just let him get it all off his chest and if he doesn’t want my opinion, I don’t offer it. By doing this, again, I’m showing my support of him and what he’s doing (& yes, he does the same for me). At the end of the day, he knows I have his back, am his cheerleader and he doesn’t have to do it alone. So ASK!!! They may say no I don’t need help 99 times, but when they ask time 100 be there! Show you care.

I Trust You

We’ve all been lied to, made to feel as if our guy-feeling was “in your mind” (when clearly it wasn’t) and left feeling as if the wind was knocked out of you. Trust is rare and one of the most precious things you must have in your healthy, grown-up relationship. When it’s gone…it’s gone. If you’re lucky to be in a relationship where that’s not an issue, still tell your partner that you trust them. It doesn’t matter if they know it already. Reassuring words are very healthy and help create a happy relationship. It can also possibly thwart any possible reason for that trust to be broken.

How are you doing so far?? There is so much more to share. Come back next week for part 2. Until then, take some time with your partner and talk to them. Really talk to them from the heart. Be an active listener. Hear what they have to say.

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