Would you have an open marriage?

Recently, there was a “shocking comment” by Jada Pinkett-Smith (wife of Will Smith) about what was described as an “Open Marriage“. To say it caused a bit of a controversy is not even beginning to touch the very edges of the story.  Some term “open” to mean that a person can do what ever they want. Now…let me just say, that if it is an understanding between both parties, who are we to judge.

Being married, is something I hope, anyone who wants to be married enjoys.  It is not all peaches and cream.  It’s not all roses and chocolates.  It’s definitely not all candle-lit dinners and bubble baths.  It’s work, but I believe (because I know some that have been successful at it) can be the best ‘job’ you’ll ever have.

The way you choose to define your relationship is your business.  No one else.  If you and your partner are ok with it, then that’s all that matters right?  A part of me feels badly that Jada has to go to this length to defend/explain her relationship with Will…but I think she does a good job.  What do you think?

Open marriage?

Let me first say this, there are far more important things to talk about in regards to what is happening in the world than whether I have an open marriage or not. I am addressing this issue because a very important subject has been born from discussions about my statement that may be worthy of addressing.

The statement I made in regard to, “Will can do whatever he wants,” has illuminated the need to discuss the relationship between trust and love and how they co-exist.

Do we believe loving someone means owning them? Do we believe that ownership is the reason someone should “behave”? Do we believe that all the expectations, conditions, and underlying threats of “you better act right or else” keep one honest and true? Do we believe that we can have meaningful relationships with people who have not defined nor live by the integrity of his or her higher self? What of unconditional love? Or does love look like, feel like, and operate as enslavement? Do we believe that the more control we put on someone the safer we are? What of TRUST and LOVE?

Should we be married to individuals who can not be responsible for themselves and their families within their freedom? Should we be in relationships with individuals who we can not entrust to their own values, integrity, and LOVE…for us???

Here is how I will change my statement…Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so. This does NOT mean we have an open relationship…this means we have a GROWN one.




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