Four days left and How do we incorporate a deceased family member?

Dear Lisa

Yesterday Will and I went to pay our respects to his mother who passed away when he was a young boy.  It was a wonderful, yet sad time for us both.  It was wonderful because he shared stories with me, as well as took him to a few of her favorite places. Sad of course because she’s not here to share our special day.  I wish I could have met her and I hope that she approves of me with him.

This got me thinking.  Everyone knows that I have her ring, but we want her to be even more a part of our special day.  How can we incorporate remembrances of her without making it sad?  I would also love to incorporate his dear beloved great-grandmother.

Oh, by the way, I did my last fitting today and I simply love my dresses. I can’t wait for everyone to see them.  I think people will be really surprised.

Warmly, Kate

Dearest Kate,

It is very sad that his mother and great-grandmother won’t be able to be a physical part of your wedding.  You both can however add touches that are either very visible or subtle touches that only you both know.

In your floral bouquet, you can add a charm with her picture around the ribbon.  You can even have the ribbon be in her favorite color.  Will’s floral boutonnière can also be in her favorite color.  Wearing a flower for a man will keep her forever close to his heart.

If she had buttons on her dress, perhaps you could have buttons that resemble them on your dress.  If not, then is it possible that you can have a piece of lace from her veil or dress?

A single rose on a chair or place-setting or even her picture at your reception will let everyone know that this person (or persons) are very special in your lives and you want to honor them. Did she have a favorite song?  Have it played at your reception.  Perhaps a favorite poem could be read at your wedding service.

I think the biggest and best way to honor someone who has passed is to have a long and happy marriage.  After all, that is what I’m sure they would want for you.

All my best,



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